The FULL Lament #1CrazyYear

So if you can believe it the published #1CrazyYear practice is NOT the whole thing.
I wrote more and I am only sharing it here.
It’s been 1 Year of sit and stay
of making unlighthearted decisions
of staying safe.
Of stop-gap comforts
a hot shower, comfort food, virtual friends,
thru a window family.

I’ve heard to be positive.
It’s all about mindset. Don’t be negative.

My mood is an unrelenting rain upon what?
This is not a parade.
This is not less work  -- this is More
But the kind of more you never wish for.
More uncertainty, more death,
More unemployment, more fear mongering,
More frustration, more bodies at home.
Less showers, space, sleep
Less friends, hobbies, hope.
I really don’t want to be too rosy about this.
I need a day to break.
I need a Daybreak - something that redefines life
That sheds real light on why we're doing what we're doing
instead of veiled optimism
filtered and photoshopped.

Where are those photojournalists?
That take photos of Real Life
on battlegrounds, and fallen towers
and stacked bodybags
Where are you?
Where is the true truth of
messy homes, and sleep deprived eyes
and bodies aging too fast
and spirits worn to the seams.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way
I wonder what kind of life is making due
and worry it can still get worse.

I'm not giving up - hell no
but you can’t hold it together forever you know.
I am alive but not full of life
Is anyone now?

Drops of joy must fill this cup now
It will take longer than we realize
one hug will not be enough.

So today hold those you can
Listen to the songs of your soul
scream or cry or both
Laugh at something ridiculous you bought.

I don’t know if we should throw axes,
or break plates
or scream and light ritual fires,
squeeze something tight or flail dance to
It’s the End of the World as We Know It
or solemnly cry alone.

I don’t know but We mark this day
We scribble in thick black Sharpie™
through its existence
Marking 1 Crazy Year

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